A Thrifty Visit

My elderly Aunt has recently moved into a care home, under much duress.  She has suffered several strokes and now has only limited movement left. Her speech has been effected, but thankfully she hasn't lost her mental capacity.  The home is a depressing place for her to be, as most of the other residents have dementia, meaning they are often upset, and screaming is not uncommon.  My Aunt would much rather stay in her own home, where she has her own belongings around her and her own space and peace and quiet.  But she unwillingly accepts that this just isn't possible anymore.

The care home is a five hour round trip from where I live, but it is on the route that we were taking to go away for our fortnight's holiday.  So I was pleased to be able to stop in past and take her out, for a change in her surroundings.    I always find it difficult to see my Aunt so changed from the person I knew as a youngster.  She is regressing into a helpless child, as she was always so independent and feisty up until recently, it is hard to see.  It is also hard as you don't want to say the wrong thing, or do the wrong thing as she is as stubborn as a mule and wouldn't want to be patronised.  You don't know when to help and when not to and even things like pushing a wheelchair are alien to me.  Her hearing is also going, so conversation is awkward as she often doesn't hear what I am saying and I end up asking questions to myself.  But despite all this, it is good to be able to see her and to help in the little way that I can, by taking her out for a nice cup of coffee and a cake.  Even though my intentions were good, I did manage to get her soaked in the rain on the way to the coffee shop, due to a lack of an umbrella, and then I bumped her toe on the wall of the corridor due to my poor wheelchair driving skills!

I can completely understand why my Aunt doesn't want to stay in the home, I wouldn't either!  The home is an old hotel and it has a really depressing air about it, with it's faded wallpaper, old reception desk and swirly carpet.  The Care Workers are all exceptionally friendly and cheerful, but the other residents are sorry souls who would be difficult to be around all the time.  Lunch is a sad affair where the folks are lined up in wheelchairs around lines of tables, but there is no conversation as the other ladies stare into space; they are all little old ladies who have been left alone.  It really isn't anything to look forward to and I feel for my Aunt having to be there.  She can't leave anything anywhere, as someone else will be off with it.  She guards her newspaper and takes it everywhere before someone else picks it up.  She tells me stories of another lady who eats the tab-ends of her cigarettes when an ashtray is not emptied.  My Aunt was always a home-buddy, like me, she likes her own space and privacy, so I can imagine how difficult it must be for her.  I just hope I don't end up in the same situation, as I would be even more of a stubborn mule than my Aunt!

On a more upbeat note, I was able to take my Aunt a visiting gift which cost me next to nothing, but still looked lovely.  I was a bit worried because I wanted to bring her some flowers to cheer up her room (I was warned by my Dad that her room had no view and looked out onto a brick wall), but I knew I couldn't afford to pay the £10+ for a decent bunch.  So rather than spending a couple of pounds on a scabby bunch from the garage, I asked my sister KitKat if I could pilfer the last of her neighbour's Sweet Peas (don't worry her neighbour had previously told my Sis to help herself as they needed picking!)  I then made a selection of mini cakes, as I wasn't sure what my Aunt could/would want to eat.  So I made some chocolate truffles, some mini ginger cake and some chocolate krispies  (a staple of mine as you can gather!) I didn't have to buy any ingredients apart from some digestive biscuits and I put the selection together into a plastic Thai takeaway tub that we had washed and kept.  I took the remaining biscuits  with me on holiday, where they made for great mid-morning snacks!  Unhealthy, I know, but tasty!

Hopefully you will agree that the visiting gift looks rather pretty for a zero pence spend.  We stopped in past to visit my Aunt on the way back home from our holiday too, and I gave her, her homemade birthday card and we took her out to the local bakery cafe.  Technically this does mean I have had coffee out twice!!!!  Oh no, the Coffee Challenge.........
But I couldn't leave my Aunt sat staring at the TV screen when we could take her out for a change of scene and a chat and when it is pouring with rain, you can't take an old buddy for a walk without an umbrella!